Women and Children Last – after allowing an album title like this to resonate through my mind I was expecting to hear something relatively testicle crushing and neck snapping in terms of overall heaviness. Furthermore, with the moniker of “Murderdolls,” my assumption seemed to be even more valid in terms of my sonic prediction. But as the saying routinely goes, “…to assume makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me.’” That was cute, huh? Oddly enough, the sound delivered by Murderdolls does come off as semi-attractive as Women and Children Last is a collection of sleazy and shocking tunes sure to leave you dying for more.

The quintet hailing from Urbandale, Iowa – most notably featuring Joey Jordison of Slipknot fame on guitar – kick off this morbid affair with two highly energetic tracks sure to get blood flowing. “Chapel of Blood” features utterly dangerous guitar riffs that showcase the group at their most vile. Seemingly rising from the grave behind the hoarse singing of vocalist Wednesday 13 are background guttural screams that while making rare appearances over the course of the album, help give the material here a campy and almost light-hearted quality. Once “Bored ‘Til Death” sears through the speakers with absolutely scorching guitars and high-paced skins abuse, the notion that the Murderdolls’ sole desire is to have terrifyingly good time is apparent, which of course makes the record that much more of a joy to listen to. Lyrics such as “I’m making a list of who shouldn’t exist and everyone’s name is at the top of my list…” just add to the entertainment value of this record.

While these crazies can definitely get bodies a stirring, Women and Children Last also has a poppy vulnerability to its morbid, murderous character. “Summertime Suicide” happens to be one key example of the group experimenting with more radio-friendly sounds as power chords, handclaps and a rather sunny guitar solo all flow through the veins of the piece. Following further down the line is the punk rock, ready for mass consumption, “Pieces of You.” Founded on a few key guitar chords and a liberal amount of those silly handclaps, “Pieces of You” is undoubtedly the catchiest song on an album full of sugary-sweet, hard-rockin’ peril. More breath-taking poetry such as “Decapitated, next I’ll amputate all the things that I hate, but there won’t be anything left of you…” really give this track a morose charm. I can already see kids singing the lyrics out loud only to be heard by their parents and consequently sent to a psychiatrist days later.

When the Murderdolls are not trying to lull kids away from their front yards with their catchier material, tunes like “My Dark Place Alone” are placed within the collection to remind metal heads why they pressed play in the first place. Built upon grinding guitars not uncommon on a Slipknot album, the five-some lay down some sinister metal sure to get heads rolling. Providing a final posthumous blast of terror, “Hello, Goodbye, Die” rips out of the ground with inhuman energy as the track concludes the album in heart-stopping fashion. As this autopsy of the record continues, while there is a ton of material here to scream along to, at a swelled fifteen tracks there is bound to be some overkill.

For example, tracks such as “Death Valley Superstars” and “Nothing’s Gonna Be Alright” find the band rolling over in their graves, repeating the same material found earlier on the album only executed worse. Furthermore, “Nowhere” stands out as almost sounding too different than the rest of the selections on the album and thus making the rest of the tracks surrounding this ugly duckling even more appealing in the process. One last gripe would have to touch on the production of the album. While Women and Children Last is well produced, the record would have been even more of a riot-starter if the guitars were projected louder in the mix. Here, there is too much of an emphasis on the vocals of Wednesday 13, which to say the least are an acquired taste. Nitpicking aside, Murderdolls have erected an album featuring more ghoulish delight than nightmarish dissatisfaction.

Within Murderdolls’ biography, stated is “All you can do is sing along while they haul off your daughter…” After listening to Women and Children Last, metal heads, it is time to make a sacrifice and start singing along. While not perfect by any means, Murderdolls have unleashed a sinfully satisfying experience of an album steeped in horrifyingly humorous lyrics and ravenous riffage. Now is the time to give Women and Children Last a listen, from what I can tell daughters are overrated anyways.

3.0/5